The Cow Files: The Moo Is Out There

Two cows stood staring into a trough of floating leaves.  The maple trees above the trough were shedding their crimson leaves in the brisk Autumn wind.  It was a beautiful sight to everyone but the cows.  They were too busy trying to find a way to drink the water without choking on the leaves.  The larger of the two turned around and tried to swish the leaves out of the water with his tail, but it didn't work.  So they stood there and stared at the water some more, and not being able to do anything, they left to find the other cows.

They found the other cows and began to discuss the problem of the leaves in the water.  Melvin thought that it was an alien invasion.  He believed that the leaves were not leaves at all, but just aliens disguised as leaves.  Susie thought that it wasn't aliens at all, but instead, a government conspiracy.  She was one of the few cows that knew exactly what they were being raised for, which was food.

    Her theory was hat the government had put something in the trees, So that they would lose their leaves and choke the water supply , then millions of cows would die.  Once the cows died, the price of beef would drop, consumers would be happy, and forget about all the genetic testing and manipulation that was done to the meat before it was sold.  Melvin still thought it was aliens, because he had seen strange lights in the sky the previous night , and the leaves had been green before he had started seeing the lights.

    When the other cows heard their story, they decided to wait up and see what would happen.  To the utter amazement of the cows , both stories were correct.

    Late in the night men in mysterious uniforms came and began to collect the leaves in plastic bags.  Melvin thought that they were going to take them to the aliens, for at that moment strange light began to fill the sky.  Then the strange aircraft with one propeller on the top began to sprinkle a white powder onto the cornfield.  Susie thought that since the leaves hadn't worked, the government was going to try to kill them by feeding them poisoned corn.  The government had actually joined forced with the aliens to which they denied existence!  Melvin and Susie both agreed on that.  So the cows decided not to eat the corn and everything would be all right.